Tis a dream.
I'll awake and it will return.
Normal. Happy. Warm.
I pretend to be brave. Hide the dark circles, the redness.
It's not true. It can't be.
But that life was dying and so we did. It happened.
Tis true and I'm very much awake.
An inner growl grows. No. No! Not fair! Why? Why? Why?!
I need something. I'm desperate. Desperate to deal with the pain. But I feel it, and become enraged. A fire. Shaking, fists, more dark circles and redness.
I'll prove this wrong. I'll lash out. See me? Cower from my mighty ROAR!
But wait, just wait! If I just hold my breath, can it be fixed? If I just do...something. Then all will be good. Warm. Deal? Come on! Please!? I'll be better. And we can pretend...Can't we?
And soon I know the truth. My inner truth. My inner knowing. We can't. And my heart breaks all over again. For now it hits me. I'm so alone. So empty.
And in the days and weeks of the melting snow and thawing ice, the emptiness starts to fill with the song of my inner truth. It fills me from within. A warmth. And the emptiness slowly becomes no more. And soon, I am awake, stronger.
And perhaps, I'll sing.
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